Vellum continued

My vellum project continues. The thing to learn this time: I am enough.

Just as I am, I am enough. Just as I am, I am accepted.

That doesn’t mean that I can’t or don’t need to change, but it provides security and encouragement as I grow.

I am enough. And so are you!

Vellum project

This is the second piece in my vellum project. I forgot to say before, the size of these pieces is more like my 100 day project pieces – roughly 15 x 10cm (6x4in for my friends across the pond).

Obedience in the small things. In some ways it can be easy to say yes to the big ask – it makes us look good to take a leap of faith. Faithfulness in the every day, mundane things, when you don’t feel like you’re making a difference and you’re not being seen, is harder I think. Harder, but necessary. If we are only faithful in big things, what does that say about us? If we can’t be obedient quietly, unseen, and consistently, how strong is our faith?

New project

I’ve started a new project. Ages ago my husband bought me a whole vellum hide. It didn’t lend itself well to making a book – too springy for folding as it’s quite thick – so it’s been sitting in a tube and waiting for a suitable project to pop up. And now it has.

I’m calling it ‘brain to veins’ and it’s a series of loose pages that I’ll store in a suitable box/envelope that I’ll make once all the pages are done. The idea is to record, art-journal style, some thoughts that we know in our heads but have trouble remembering in our hearts and living out. It seemed fitting to record them on vellum.

Here’s the first one: most opinions don’t matter. What most people think of you is not important. Decide whose opinion matters. Who are you going to allow to plant seeds in your life?

Time off

We’re in the middle of two weeks of time off – a much-needed break. But during a lockdown, time off is weird. We can go to the supermarket. Other than that, we walk locally, read, watch DVDs. My husband can’t go to the cinema or go fishing as he would normally do when taking a break. Lots of the usual things we would do are closed to us. But we’re making the best of it. What else can we do?

Repeating myself

As we batten down the hatches under our second lockdown this year, I feel like I am repeating myself. Each day feels more or less the same. I’m crossing days off the calendar just to keep in touch with what day it is. I have few words to put down in my journal as my thoughts circle.

It will get better, but for the moment forgive me for repeating myself.

Go deep

Standing back from this page, I found myself peering into a mysterious path that was drawing me in, drawing me deeper.

As an introvert, small talk is excruciating for me. I’d much rather talk about something meaningful. Or rather, let you talk about something meaningful while I listen 🙂 Going deeper is what I prefer. Yes, it may be uncomfortable sometimes, even vulnerable, but the exploration is worth it.

Memory baggage

Memory baggage.

That stuff that, when someone reminds you of someone else, gets in the way of getting to know them for themselves. You know what I mean – someone reminds you of someone who hurt you in the past, so you hold back from them, even though it was nothing to do with them.

We’re human and we want to protect ourselves, so we’re sensitive to these reminders. It takes deliberate thought to put those things aside and remember that this person wasn’t the one who hurt you.